The Life of Severus Snape
by SeverSnap
Summary: that's just how it is sometimes...
1. Snape and Moonflower

Disclamer: all characters except lauriea and a few of the Slytherin Quidditch team members are (c) to J.K. Rowling

Lauriea is (c) to me.

**

* * *

**

**Snape and Moonflower**

Severus sat alone in a dark of the Slytherin common room. It was his first day back at Hogwarts. So far his fourth year just seemed, well… normal. It was slowly nearing midnight as he watched the fire die lingeringly. He looked down at the half-eaten cupcake in his hands. He didn't feel much like eating it, although a month ago he would have done anything to get it.

The train ride over had been the usual. Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew showed up asking if he had any soap they could use ("Hey, Snivellus, got any soap? Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot, of course you don't, might get you clean if you touch it. Oh, I wanted to know what you use to get your hair to look like that, thought I might try it…."). God he hated them. Maybe he should've thrown his book a little harder, they still had it too. He figured he wouldn't see it for awhile.

Not that his summer had been any better. His mom had gotten sick, and made him do all the housework, since his dad was still not coming back, and they couldn't afford a stupid house elf. His birthday had been just a normal day except that the only thing his mother told him to do was stand in front of her and don't move while she slapped him across the face fourteen times, one for every year he's sucked in air though his mouth. He had taken his chance that day to go to Diagon Alley for his school books, since she was leaving him alone and all. It wasn't very far if you lived in a hidden house outside of London. He couldn't waste any money, so he walked instead of using the Knight Bus. He wasn't sure what was better, being mildly abused by his mother, or full scale torment from the "Potter Posse".

Severus stood up and yawned, cramming the rest of the sweet chocolate into his mouth, savoring the succulent flavor as it melted in his mouth. He walked up the stairs into the boy's dormitories. He stood in the doorway and looked around, same as last year, and the other two previous years he had attended Hogwarts. Near the window was Rookwood, then Dolohov, next was Avery, and the last bed and farthest from the window was an empty bed calling young Severus to sink into it's plushy softness. It all seemed surreal for a fleeting moment. He undressed and climbed into the bed, closing the curtains, blocking himself from view. He lay flat on his back staring strait up. He was deathly tiered, but he couldn't find sleep, lest it find him. We he finally slipped into sleep it was very unrestful as he couldn't stay comfortable for less than two minutes, disturbing images flashing through his mind.

He awoke to the sound of a soft thump and a loud groan. He rubbed his eyes feeling only a little bit rested than he had the night before. He poked his head through the curtains and saw a short boy standing in front of him rubbing his butt.

"God, Avery," he groaned rolling his eyes. If there were anyone to better define the phrase "I'm such a klutz I can't believe I'm not dead yet", they were probably already dead. But Avery, having tripped over everything in the room at least once a day each year since day one, staring when he fell off the sorting hats stool.

"What?" Avery asked innocently.

"Nothing," he droned, pulling his body out from behind the curtains. A tall dark haired boy who had obviously heard what Severus had said and identified the voice with the right person, walked out from behind the beds, holding a bunch of school books.

"Well, good to see you Sev," he said in a would-be-happy-mode.

"Rookwood, don't call me that. I'll start using your first name," Severus said threatingly, then added, for the record, "Augustus".

"Fine, but do the world a favor, and SHUT UP!"

"So, how are you Snape," Rookwood said, trying to change the subject.

"Just peachy," Severus said sarcastically.

"Ha, ha, Sev, real funny, seriously, how are you".

"Whatever," Severus said, pulling his robes over his head.

"You're so sullen Sev, can't you at least drop you're invisible walls. It's getting to people," Rookwood said.

"What if I don't want people to know me," Severus shot at him.

"Sev, please, you're kept all to yourself, you've got no real friends. I'm sorry, but I can't befriend someone who I really don't know."

"Just shut up, okay," Severus said angrily, rummaging around in his trunk for his potions book.

"You know Sev, I'm beginning to see things about you I never really noticed before. You don't want it, and you don't have it, but you need it".

"And what would that be?" Severus asked him dryly, glaring at him, hatred welling inside him.

"You need…love"

"WHAT?"

"You heard what I said Sev. You need to love someone, and for them to love you back. Everything is so obvious, you don't have any love for anyone left in your life. Ever since your dad died on Christmas in your first year you've been different. You shut everyone out. You're afraid of losing it again."

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!" Severus screamed and stormed out of the room as Avery tripped and the hem of his robes get caught in his trunk.

Severus walked down the halls grudgingly. No one, until now had ever mentioned his fathers death. It was just something that they would regret. But Rookwood went to far, saying he needed love in his life, who the hell did he think he was anyway? Severus sat down in the great hall next to Antonin Dolohov, who was absorbed in the piece of parchment he was holding.

"Here," he grumbled shoving a paper at Severus. Severus took it and stared down at what was his weeks schedule;

Monday:

9:00

Potions

11:00

Defense against the Dark Arts

12:00

Lunch

1:00

Arithmancy

2:00

Care of magical creatures

Tuesday:

9:00

Herbology

11:00

Transfiguration

12:00

Lunch

1:00

Ancient Runes

2:00

History of Magic

And so forth into the week. "_Great,"_ Severus thought, "_double potions on our first day back"._ Not that he really minded, he was excellent at Potions, just he didn't like sharing the class with the Gryfindor's. And making things so much better, Remus Lupin was his partner, and it wasn't exactly his _best_ class either. That fact being, he himself did most of the work in order for them both to pass. He folded the parchment and put it in his bag. He glanced down the table and saw Bellatrix Black holding hands with Rodolphus LeStrange, she was biting her thumb at her cousin Sirius with her other hand. Rodolphus's face was covered with a huge grin as Sirius chucked the finger back at them and Professor McGonagall walked up to him with an angered expression on her face.

Bellatrix was in her last year and also once a prefect. And according to her, Sirius was literally blasted off the family tree, and no longer lived in his mother's house. Severus looked at who was sitting across from him and saw Lauriea Moonflower and Narcissa Black. He felt his checks flushed and he quickly looked down quickly, remembering what Rookwood had said. Anger welled up inside him again.

Classes went well, all week long. The "Potter Posse" weren't to active yet. He feared when they finally did become active, usually if they didn't do anything for awhile they were planning his hell ahead of time. Although the second day he got his book back from Remus, but when he opened it, it squirted jet black ink into his face. He had to go to Madame Pomfery to get it out of his mouth and nose. It was quite humiliating, especially his choice in opening it in history of magic. Even for a dead teacher's ghost, he sure can yell loud.

Fall came and went quite quickly with Sirius getting mad at him for no reason at all and hung him from the ceiling of the dungeons. This got Filch a little mad, and Peeves took the chance to take over a hundred pieces of parchment and throw them all over the great hall. The Quidditch season had started so Severus watched the Syltherin team come in either covered in mud, soaking wet, or on the verge of collapse three times a week. Lauriea was a chaser on the team, and so was her best friend Nacrissa, who was also the captain. Dolohov was a beater, and a third year named Nevquil was the third chaser. The keeper was Rodolphus LeStrange, and the second beater was a sixth year, Nott. The Seeker, which Severus envied most was a short boy in his second year named Wesing. He was so small compared to the heights of his fellow teammates. It was almost funny.

Throughout the beginning of December the "Potter Posse" started their string of torment full throttle by putting food poisoning in his supper one night, making him spend the night in the bathroom regurgitating the last days' meal, they each got a months' detention, but still managed to block all the doors Severus needed to go through without being caught. All his homework disappeared a week latter and started showing up after it was due. Severus got James back by putting a filth charm on him that made him smell like rotting fish and his hair to stick together and be covered with slime for a few days, getting Severus into detention.

A week before the Christmas holidays, Severus sat in his usual corner in the Syltherin common room working on his Arithmancy homework, when the Qudditch team came through the portrait hole loudly bashing the Gyfindor team harshly, strings of swearing and shrill laughter rang through the room for a few minutes before ceasing. A shadow fell over the dim light of the candle he was using to see what he was writing. He looked up and saw a girl with mud on one of her cheeks, her lips were stained black and her icy blue eyes were heavily outlined with black eye liner, she had long strait black hair that was pulled back into a ponytail at the base of her neck and was slightly messed up and falling out, she was holding a Shootingstar broomstick, one of the best out there. It was Lauriea, and she looked like she had just had a pretty hard practice. But to him no matter what she was wearing (in this case Quidditch robes splattered with mud) she was beautiful to him, with her thin frame, pale skin, and slightly large pointed nose.

"Awfully hard, Arithmancy, in't?" she asked looking down at what he had written.

"Umm… sort of, I guess," he mumbled, his face turning pink, he looked down.

"Well, I heard you wanna play Quidditch," she said.

"Who told you that?" he asked dryly, slightly mad that someone knew what his secret desire was, one of them at least, although he had mentioned it a few times during some of the matches.

"Augustus"

"Wonderful," this was obviously another one of his plans, like he wasn't dead already. Why did he bring Lauriea into this one though. Severus knew fully that Rookwood thought she was strange, and he also thought that she would look better without the makeup. But Severus liked the makeup and secretly wished that her image would stay the same forever. He had never told anyone that he thought she was quite a beautiful creature. She was also a Dark Elf, and also the first non-human accepted into Hogwarts. He didn't know her full story, but he knew that under the mud on her cheek, on her cheekbone she had a small tattoo signifying that she was a Dark Elf.

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to try out my Shootingstar"

"Sure," he said standing up, coming to be about four or five inches taller than her. He was about 5' 10". So she must be 5' 5" at least. She turned an indistinctive pink as she lifted her head to look at his face. They awkwardly stood there a moment, staring into each others eyes. Severus's heart jumped to his throat, and he bent and blew out his candle.

They walked out onto the fields without much to say. When they got to the middle of field, Severus turned and looked at her quizzically. No one was this nice to him, ever.

"Why are letting me do this?"

"Well… you're always sitting alone in that corner , and you never smile unless Potter and his friends get tipped off. And no one talks to you, and I'm sorry, but you don't seem to have any friends. I want to be your friend, and you like Quidditch, even you don't play"

"Well, thanks," Severus said, and heard distinct giggle behind him, then someone saying "Oww". "What was that?"

"I don't know," Lauriea said, raising one eyebrow. It was very cute. "Well… here, you took flying lessons"

Severus took the perfectly balanced broomstick as his first flying lesson flashed through his mind. He had been flying partners with Nacrissa, and it wasn't exactly fun being partners with her. He let go of it and it stayed the perfect height for him to mount. He swung his leg over, but as soon as he did it flung him off. He landed hard on his butt, but he got up tried again, and again. Lauriea vainly tried to control her laughter. He finally managed to get on, but the broom wouldn't stop moving in every which way, suddenly it flew a hundred feet into the air and Lauriea stopped laughing. The broom started accelerating extremely fast backwards until Severus was directly above the stands, then the broom jerked forward so fast that Severus found himself sliding off the end of the broom and fall to the stands below him. The exact moment he hit the stands he heard an earsplitting crack, and he felt so much more pain than he thought possible. He screamed loudly and through his watering eyes he saw Lauriea dropping the broom and running toward him, and he also heard someone yell "Oh, DAMN!" and he saw Remus appear out of no where and start running toward the castle. Severus closed his eyes trying to subside the searing pain coming from his mid back and spreading throughout his body.

When he opened them he was laying flat on the bench instead of his back un-naturally bent over the edge of the bench. Madame Pomfery was bent over him with a pained expression on her face which seemed to slightly slacken when she saw he was awake.

"Good, you're awake. Please try to stay awake, okay," she said. Severus tried to nod but only found it to painful. He looked down at a pool of blood surrounding his body and saw Lauriea standing close by wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her robes. She still had mud on her face though, but it was slightly smeared across her nose now. He heard yelling in the background and saw the blurred figures of James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Professor McGonagall. He guessed it was Professor McGonagall who was yelling.

"… AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY PLACING AN ILLEGAL CURSE ON A BROOMSTICK!! DID YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID TO THE BOY?!"

Severus saw James shake his head. And Professor McGonagall grabbed his wrist and dragged him toward Severus. She stopped right beside Lauriea and shoved a very pale James forward. Madame Pomfery now had Severus on his stomach shirtless and was looking down at something jutting out of his back that he guessed was his spinal chord, and it was still gushing blood. Severus felt immediately sick as Lauriea guessed the same thing and turned her head.

"Apologize, he's awake," Professor McGonagall hissed at James. James just stood, dumbstruck, all color drained from his face.

"Well, James?" Severus heard someone standing above him said. It was Dumbledore.

"I-I'm-sor-sorry," James said weakly.

"You'll have to do better Mr. Potter, if you don't want to be expelled," Professor McGonagall said coolly. At that moment Madame Pomfery muttered something and Severus felt something in his back move painfully. He stifled a small scream as she did so.

"I'm…really, very sorry Severus. I hope you'll be okay. I'm sorry," he whimpered.

In his head Severus seriously doubted this. Madame Pomfery dripped something that stung really bad onto Severus's wound, and he whimpered painfully. Then she pulled him into a sitting position and gently wrapped a bandage around Severus's thin body. His stomach was still slightly caved in from the summer. The air was extremely cold.

He spent the next three days in the hospital wing and Lauriea came to visit him each day. He was excused from classes for the rest of the week so he spent the days in the library reading various books on the Dark Arts.

On the first day of holidays he woke up to an empty dormitory, but when he walked into the common room he saw Lauriea sitting on a couch reading Hogwarts: a History_._

"Good morning," she said brightly, putting down her book. "Do you want to go down for breakfast?"

"Sure," he said. They walked down the halls, randomly saying things.

"I'm sorry about the broom thing," she said suddenly. "I'm sorry I laughed at you…it was Potter and Black…I swear."

"It's okay"

"no it's not. I'm really sorry, I shouldn't lau…"

"It wasn't your fault," Severus said cutting her off.

"Well…it's the first day of holidays, and we're the only Slytherin's. Wonder who else is here".

Her question was shortly answered as they stepped into the great hall for breakfast. There was only one table. Professor's Dumbledore, McGonagal, and Flitwick were there along with Potter, Black, Pettigrew, and a second year Ravenclaw. They ate in silence, although the tables other occupants had fun opening poppers.

Later in the day he and Lauriea went outside, talking.

"Hey, Severus," Lauriea said bending over.

"Wha…" a large amount of snow hit him full in the face, sliding down his neck. Great chills shot through his body as he whipped it off his face and saw Lauriea grinning, picking up more snow. He smiled and picked up a clump of snow and flung it at her as she flung the snow that she was holding back at him. They continued this for a little while before getting to tired to keep bending over and running away. They collapsed on top of each other laughing. He sat up and she settled her head in his lap, both of them still covered in snow. His suicidal thoughts subsided, and only his hatred remained for the marauders.

After a few minutes Severus noticed James, Sirius, and Peter supporting a very pale, weak, bloody looking Remus. Remus had a nice rip on the sleeve of his robes and blood was soaking through it, he was also having trouble with his footing and kept falling into either James or Sirius. But they were all laughing.

"Hey look, it's Snivellus!" James shouted loud enough for Severus to hear him. "Got yourself a girlfriend, did you Snivey?"

Severus's body tensed up, and Lauriea, obviously feeling this looked up at him.

"Don't know why she could like you though, it'd take someone really blunt to like you," James continued. Lauriea sat up with an angered expression on her face.

"Hey Snivey, did you get any soap for Christmas?" Sirius asked. "Hey maybe Moonflower can show you how to use it, although she may need to use it herself now. Hey you two could share it--"

He never got to finish because Severus charged on him at that moment. Remus feel back into James, who grabbed him across his chest so he wouldn't fall into the snow. Severus slammed his body into Sirius and they both fell backwards into the snow. Lauriea tore after him and attempted to peel the two apart. It ended when Madame Pomfery showed up with an unconscious Lupin in her arms.

The day ended with both Lauriea and Severus sleeping soundly in Severus's bed.


	2. The Howler

I haven't finished this yet. I just put it up because my story only has one chapter.

Disclaimer: all characters except Lauriea and a few others belong to JK Rowling, etc…

---------

The Howler

Severus sat eating breakfast in the Great Hall two weeks after sixth year had begun. To say that the end of his summer was uneventful would be the understatement of the year. His arm still hurt from it. It was his 16th birthday present. He had told Madame Pomfery what it was. (He had grown a strong dislike of Dumbledore.) Madame Pomfery, he soon learned, had told Dumbledore. This was the base of his hatred. Dumbledore always knew, just by looking at you he knew, he hated it. He knew that Dumbledore knew of his hatred, his pain. The "Potter Posse" or the "Mrauders" as they like to call themselves, hadn't even gotten a single detention for their "fun" last year. That alone was the worst day of his life. If you were helpless while some big-headed jerk hung you upside down in the air naked from waist down, or up, I should say in this case. Lauriea was in the dungeons at the time talking to Professor Lacredcen about her Defense Against the Dark Arts grade. She would've stopped that from happening. He pushed the food into his mouth with the fork. It was pretty tasteless, seeing that he didn't feel like tasting it. Hundreds of owls flew over head dropping letters in front of seats all over the Great Hall. Severus didn't bother to look up, since he never got anything, maybe that's why he was surprised when his mothers raven landed in front of him and spit a letter out. A howler. It cawed and flew away.

"Grab it and run," Avery whispered in his ear. Severus did the stupidest thing he could at that moment. He didn't move. And because of this action, or lack thereof, the letter began it's screaming message:

"YOU FOOL OF A BOY!" his mother's harsh cigarette voice yelled. "HOW DARE YOU TELL THOSE BASTARDS!! LOOK WHAT YOU"VE DONE! I SHOULD"VE KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE GOD DAMN CHANCE!!"

Severus sunk so low in his chair, blocking out the laughter as some eggs collided with his face. Damn, did this suck. He looked at Lauriea, who was sitting at his right, and she put her arms around him. Dumbledore took this chance to walk over to Severus.

"May I have a word," he said.


	3. Taking it as it comes letters

From a part I haven't written yet. Just some letters from when Severus was a DeathEater

Disclaimer: the same shit. Rowling etc….

----

Taking it as it comes (Letters)

Dear Mother,

I wish to inform you that I shall be back tomorrow at noon. I've gone to meet with some friends. Do not worry, I'll keep my body covered. So long as I'm not drunk. Do not try to contact me until I return. The Dark Lord will not be pleased if he learned of your betrayal, so keep your damn mouth shut about me. If I don't return don't go out looking for me, I'm dead.

Best wishes,

Severus

Dear Severus,

If you dare to tell the Dark Lord I'll have your fucking throat. Screw up and you'll have some time trying to explain yourself. Keep your body covered, even when you're drunk. You're too young to get a girl pregnant. For God's sake you're only sixteen boy! Please come home, and don't spew all over the floor, I just cleaned it.

Your loving mother,

Catherinë a

****

Dear Severus,

The dark Lord is waiting. He has told us to kill the Rendloux family. There are two women. One about your age the other a bit older. Same instructions. Kill them, torture if you like, take what women you want.

Sincerely,

Luicius Malfoy

Dear Lauriea,

I have to go out tonight. I'll see you at the alley when I get back. It's the Rendloux family this time. It's just me and Luicius. They're two women, so we might be a bit late. You know how Luicius is. Lets just hope he's not too horny tonight. Don't worry, I'll keep myself safe. Mother says no sex, and to keep my clothes on. She never said anything about talking them off though, or how long I had to keep them on, so I'll see you sometime before sunrise. Please wait for me.

With all my love,

Severus

Dear Severus,

Please don't tell me you raped someone last night before you meet up with me. I hope your hangover wasn't as bad as mine. Don't worry, I'm not pregnant, yet. Thank you for what we did last night, I think I needed that. Though I'm quite sore today, that was the hardest yet. I'm guessing Narcissa will have a thing or two to say when Luicius comes back, you were late. I've still got some vodka left, and I'm free tomorrow if you want to come over. Ask your mum if it's alright if I stop by for supper. My mistress has kicked me out yet again. And maybe if I could stay the night too. My mistress was not too happy when I came home after lunch drunk and unsteady.

Yours until the day of our death,

Lauriea

Dear Lauriea,

You shall be pleased to know that Luicius was the only one doing the raping. Actually it was quite funny really. She kept kicking his balls. I ended up just killing her before Luicius started bleeding to death. If I were him I'd be petrified of Narcissa when I walked through that door so late. My mum went to London for a few days to get my school things. It's our last year, finally. Dumbledores beginning to get on my nerves. And that James, oh he's dead. So you can stay the night shes not coming home 'till noon. Actually she'll be happy to see you as long as we don't tell her we slept together. She likes you, so we can't get drunk, she'll notice.

With all my love, heart, body, mind, and soul,

Severus

****

Dear Severus,

Narcissa and I are going to the alley next week for a bit of fun. We wanted to know if you and Lauriea wanted to meet us there. MaCnair stole some booze from some illegal muggle shop. I believe he killed the muggle as well. If you would like to know what happened when I got home, well… lets just say I'm lucky to still be here.

Sincerely,

Luicius

Dear Mother,

You'll be happy to know that I did keep my clothes on, most of the time. No one's pregnant on my account. I didn't rape anyone. I'm still straight. I think I got a little to drunk though, I don't remember who I was sleeping with, although it was most likely Lauriea. Me and Luicius went on a job for the Dark Lord. I wasn't hurt, although I'll be surprised if Luicius ever has a kid after that one. Narcissa wasn't to happy with him. I didn't tell the Dark Lord, so don't worry.

Your loving son,

Severus

Dear Severus,

I'm glad to know you haven't told. But I thought I told you to keep your clothes on the whole time, not just most of the time. And it better have been Lauriea you were sleeping with. I don't want some crummy bitch with my son! I'll be home as soon as I can.

Your loving mother,

Catherinë a


End file.
